Where am I??????

I honestly do not know how you people without a GPS for your vehicle do it. How do you not just wander around like you have a blindfold on?

I do suppose that if I had never HAD a GPS I wouldn't be in the predicament I am in now. My GPS is currently broken. I am sans maps. It has put a HUGE hitch in my get along.

Monday night I was taking the smalls over to my friend Jenn's after work. Jenn and I were going to go to see Twilight (addicted!) and her daughter was going watch the smalls. I had to be quick about picking her up and heading BACK over to Kansas so I decided I would pick up dinner right before I got to Jenn's house. I'm cruising down the road to Jenn's pad and I realize oh crap! I can't just hit Where to? Points of Interest - Food - Fast Food. I can't wait until it pulls up my options in the area, choose the one I want and hit Go. There will be no man with an British accent lighting the way for me to get to my destination.

I had to buck up and do what the rest of the non GPS lovin' world does. I had to turn on a road and hope and pray that I'd run into the golden arches by chance. HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO IT???

Quote of the Day

I'm going to get you a bumper sticker "I'd rather be reading my Twilight books. P.S. Jewish girls swallow"

Thanks MAW for making me laugh this morning.

Privacy Please!!!

When I was pondering bringing a child into this world I knew there would be things I would have to give up. When I had a baby I wouldn't be able to run to the grocery store at a moments notice without having to pack up a bag of shit and a baby. I wouldn't be able to stay up until 5 in the morning boozing with my girlfriends and sleep in the next day and laze around while I recovered. These are the things even if you may NOT realize before that small one comes, they are very apparent right out of the gate.
One thing that I wasn't aware would happen was a total loss of privacy. Those small people open doors and don't really care what you are doing. No I'm NOT talking about PDub walking in while me and the Mr are getting it on. That one hasn't happened yet (thank God).
What I would love to get back some day (and I know I will) is a little privacy in the potty. Can I JUST put a tampon in without a small person looking over at me 'What ya doin' mom'? That whole situation is disgusting anyway, but try having a small person staring at you dissecting every move you make. 'What's that?'....'Can I have one?'.....'You poop mom?'.
The small one has also noticed how the back of a pantyliner has sticky stuff on it...hence why she now calls them 'stickers'. 'Mom....can I have a sticker?'....'No honey - they are mommy's stickers.'
I throw out the proverbial 'This is mommy stuff. Can you go into mommy's room? Mommy would like to do mommy stuff by herself'. It never works but hey at least I try.
Around 8 last night my face is buried in a book (we'll talk about THAT obsession in a future post) and the small one was kickin' round the bathroom. She likes to play with the cats water and look in the mirror and such so I wasn't all that worried. She rolls back out into the bedroom and tears my attention away from my book for a moment with the phrase 'Mommy....can you put this in my panties?'
WHAT? Panties? In your panties? Something you want...what?
I look over and she has taken out a pantyliner..taken the backing of it so that is sticky and ready to go...and would like me to put it in her panties - JUST LIKE MOMMY.
So yeah...my daughter had her first pantyliner on last night. And now I reiterate - PRIVACY PLEASE!!

Brand new Beerkitten!

Hello world - It's Noah!!! Some day you'll love Northwest as much as the rest of us do. Hopefully your mommy will brainwash you into loving the Cats like I have Pdub!

Your mom and dad are so lucky to finally have you to squish on. I know all your mom's buds over here in MO and KS can't wait to squish on you too!!!

Luvthebearcats would probably agree that you have a pretty awesome name. Thank GOD she went with Noah and NOT Tucker. Good job Danny Boy on pointing out what TUCKER rhymes with!

Almost 3 Year Old Logic

The mind of a 2 - almost 3 - year old is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

I came home from a LONG ride home earlier this week in a mad rush for the potty. I do my business and as always take off my 'work pants' and put on my 'comfy pants'. I walk back into the bedroom with work pants in hand and Pdub notices that I'm changing my pants. Her almost 3 year old logic kicks in and she asks:

"Mom....ya pee in your pants?"

"No honey, mom did not pee in her pants. Mom is putting on comfy pants."

No luvthebearcats I did NOT pee in my pants. YES it was a horridly long ride home because of the idiots that don't know how to drive in this city and YES I have had a child but NO...I did not pee.

My little Bearkitten

When deciding what I was going to wear today two things came to my mind:
A. It's cold as a mother@#&* outside.
B. The Bearcats play tomorrow in the semifinal game.

Bearcat sweatshirt it is!!! It's warm, it supports the best football team ever, it's awesome.
My sweatshirt ONLY has the words Northwest Missouri State - No Bobby, No paw, nothing specifically calling out Bearcats besides the fact that it says the name of the college.
I pick up Pdub and this is the conversation that ensues:

Pdub: Mom, you got your cats shirt on?
Me: Yes hunny, mom's wearing her Bearcat shirt today.
Pdub: I NEED MY CAT SHIRT ON!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not really sure how she knew that my shirt was a Bearcat shirt besides the fact that the writing was in green but...Oops! I MAY have brainwashed my child into loving the Cats as much as I do!!!

Friggin kids!

Last weekend Pdub and I had the house to ourselves. Jarhead stayed down south longer then expected so we were ALL ALONE. I don't know how many of you have or have had a 2 year old but I didn't really want to spend the ENTIRE weekend with said 2 year old by myself. This would be what I looked like by Sunday if I went it alone..not pretty.

My sanity is my friend. I like to cuddle with it. I would be hurt if it went away.

I decided that PDub and I would roll over to the Cotastics to hang for most of the weekend. We got there on Saturday and finally left them alone around 6:30 on Sunday night. Lyn says I didn't overstay my welcome but she is also a fairly polite person.

Lyn's son Acelec (that's what PDub calls him) got me good with his 7 year old wit while was there.

Acelec: Hey can you spell icup?

Me: What? What is icup?

Acelec: I just want to know how to spell icup. Can you spell it?

Let's take a moment here. Can YOU spell icup? One would think you could since I just wrote icup and you are sitting here reading my blog. Say it out loud. Shout it if you need to. icup. On with the show.

Me: Well....I would guess 'I C U P'.

Acelec: What was that?

Me: Uh....'I C U P'.

Acelec: YOU SEE WHAT?

If you know Acelec's dad you know where he get's that wit from. Friggin kids!

P.S. Did I get YOU with the icup thing? You can say I didn't....but I know I did!!!