Friggin kids!

Last weekend Pdub and I had the house to ourselves. Jarhead stayed down south longer then expected so we were ALL ALONE. I don't know how many of you have or have had a 2 year old but I didn't really want to spend the ENTIRE weekend with said 2 year old by myself. This would be what I looked like by Sunday if I went it alone..not pretty.

My sanity is my friend. I like to cuddle with it. I would be hurt if it went away.

I decided that PDub and I would roll over to the Cotastics to hang for most of the weekend. We got there on Saturday and finally left them alone around 6:30 on Sunday night. Lyn says I didn't overstay my welcome but she is also a fairly polite person.

Lyn's son Acelec (that's what PDub calls him) got me good with his 7 year old wit while was there.

Acelec: Hey can you spell icup?

Me: What? What is icup?

Acelec: I just want to know how to spell icup. Can you spell it?

Let's take a moment here. Can YOU spell icup? One would think you could since I just wrote icup and you are sitting here reading my blog. Say it out loud. Shout it if you need to. icup. On with the show.

Me: Well....I would guess 'I C U P'.

Acelec: What was that?

Me: Uh....'I C U P'.

Acelec: YOU SEE WHAT?

If you know Acelec's dad you know where he get's that wit from. Friggin kids!

P.S. Did I get YOU with the icup thing? You can say I didn't....but I know I did!!!

Booze & Babies

MA and I were discussing today about how she thinks it would be AWESOME if Jarhead and I were to have a #2 who was born in September. For some reason she thinks that September is the best month EVER. I told her that I would agree with September...well EARLY September would work with my plan.

Some women try and 'plan their pregnancies' so they can have their child a certain month for this reason or that. Don't want to be preggo during the summer. Don't want the smalls birthday to be close to Christmas. I like to do the same thing. My reasoning MIGHT seem a little off to some of you.

This is going to sound so sad ….might sound like I have a slight problem…but I kind of like to schedule my pregnancies so that I’m only preggo during one Crawl for Cancer. Obsession? Much?

I bet if luvthebearcats was still baby makin she'd be the same exact way.

P.S. If my plan DOESN'T work and I have to be pregs for TWO crawls I will be making a 'Welcome Back to Booze Dre' crawl up all on my own!!

Did you fall?

This is a conversation (very one sided as you will see) that I had with MA over IM today. She was no longer answering me and I feared for her safety and her life.

schnaazy (this is me) : did u fall?
schnaazy: i hope someone reads this message if u've fallen and are unconsciuos(sp bad).
please call 911 whoever you are.
you can call me at 816-200-**** and i'll be right over.
if she has a gaping head wound then apply pressure.
if she has broken a leg, arm, ect please splint it and take her to the urgent care or emergency room.
please let me know where you are taking her as i would like to visit her in the hospital.
i will also let her parents and norman know what is going on.
if she doesn't make it she has told me in past conversations that i get to have all of her cool stuff.
we made a blood pact on it.
kind of gross but that shit holds up in court.

Pitcher with Orange Lid OR Clean up your own shit

I had to send this email out at work today. I will preface your reading of the email by my first thoughts on picking the pitcher up - 'A pitcher of gravy?'

Read on:

All
I removed a plastic pitcher with an orange lid from the bottom shelf of the fridge this afternoon. It had what I can only describe as ‘what was once tea’. Thank you so much for performing a science experiment to test what tea will turn into if left in a fridge WAY to long – for your info, there is a substance that forms on the top few layers that is somewhere between a liquid and a solid. It was pleasant to throw out and almost made Brandy throw up when I was showing my find to her. If you would like to claim your pitcher I stuck it in the dishwasher. It does have a little ‘line’ of goo around the top of the ‘what was once tea’ level that did not get removed from my rinsing it out. It might clean up just fine in the dishwasher…but I’d be weary if I were you.

She loves her mama!

Here is what I do on a nightly basis: Go home, clean up the kitchen, figure out what everyone is going to eat for dinner, clean up the kitchen again. It's a never ending process. Last night there was a little bright spot in my cleaning that made me smile at my baby girl.
I was working on straightening up one of the counter tops, putting dishes away and what not. PDub was wanting to look in the fridge to see what she wanted to eat for dinner. OK. Keeps her out of my hair so that I can do what I do.
PDub: Mama...I wan apple juice.
Me: OK dude...get out a juice box. (The juice box is NOT apple juice by the way).
PDub: Mama...you wan apple juice?
Me: No honey. Mommy doesn't need an apple juice.
PDub: Mama you nee a juice.
Me: OK dude. Get mom a juice (I was done with fighting).
So I kind of just keep doing my thing in my own little world. She tells me she has her juice and puts it on the table. I turn the other direction towards the sink to put something in it and I see that she has put my 'juice' on the counter. Sitting there for her mama to drink is a nice cold Miller Lite.
Me: Addy what is that?
PDub: Your juice mama.
Me: Well THANK YOU bear...you love your mama.