Thursday, January 22, 2009

That's "Mrs. Ruin Fun Things" To You

First off, I'd like to apologize to my friend Ern. I have learned from this instance that I should keep the neat little tid-bits that I find out about songs and what they are about to myself. Zippin da lip.
Earlier this month we were all eating breakfast one morning after a long night of drinking (for Lin and I). Somehow the song 'Lola' by the Kinks was brought up. It's a great song. It's quite catchy - 'La la la la Loooola.' - 'C - O - L - A cola'. Good stuff!
As Ern was singing this song that morning I had a faint memory about it and stated it out loud.
'Wasn't that song about a tranny?'
For a good 15 or 20 minutes I had 'no clue what I was talking about'.
I threw out some of the words in the song - 'I'm not dumb but I can't understand why she walked like a woman but talked like a man'. LIKE A MAN?
Ern breaks down and decides to get out his phone and search the net...see what he comes up with. Low and behold, who was right? ME! It WAS about a young man's encounter with a transvestite. Check out wikipedia....wikipedia knows all.
So sorry if you've read this post and I've ruined the song for you. I still love it and you should too!

Where am I??????

I honestly do not know how you people without a GPS for your vehicle do it. How do you not just wander around like you have a blindfold on?

I do suppose that if I had never HAD a GPS I wouldn't be in the predicament I am in now. My GPS is currently broken. I am sans maps. It has put a HUGE hitch in my get along.

Monday night I was taking the smalls over to my friend Jenn's after work. Jenn and I were going to go to see Twilight (addicted!) and her daughter was going watch the smalls. I had to be quick about picking her up and heading BACK over to Kansas so I decided I would pick up dinner right before I got to Jenn's house. I'm cruising down the road to Jenn's pad and I realize oh crap! I can't just hit Where to? Points of Interest - Food - Fast Food. I can't wait until it pulls up my options in the area, choose the one I want and hit Go. There will be no man with an British accent lighting the way for me to get to my destination.

I had to buck up and do what the rest of the non GPS lovin' world does. I had to turn on a road and hope and pray that I'd run into the golden arches by chance. HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO IT???

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Quote of the Day

I'm going to get you a bumper sticker "I'd rather be reading my Twilight books. P.S. Jewish girls swallow"

Thanks MAW for making me laugh this morning.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Privacy Please!!!

When I was pondering bringing a child into this world I knew there would be things I would have to give up. When I had a baby I wouldn't be able to run to the grocery store at a moments notice without having to pack up a bag of shit and a baby. I wouldn't be able to stay up until 5 in the morning boozing with my girlfriends and sleep in the next day and laze around while I recovered. These are the things even if you may NOT realize before that small one comes, they are very apparent right out of the gate.
One thing that I wasn't aware would happen was a total loss of privacy. Those small people open doors and don't really care what you are doing. No I'm NOT talking about PDub walking in while me and the Mr are getting it on. That one hasn't happened yet (thank God).
What I would love to get back some day (and I know I will) is a little privacy in the potty. Can I JUST put a tampon in without a small person looking over at me 'What ya doin' mom'? That whole situation is disgusting anyway, but try having a small person staring at you dissecting every move you make. 'What's that?'....'Can I have one?'.....'You poop mom?'.
The small one has also noticed how the back of a pantyliner has sticky stuff on it...hence why she now calls them 'stickers'. 'Mom....can I have a sticker?'....'No honey - they are mommy's stickers.'
I throw out the proverbial 'This is mommy stuff. Can you go into mommy's room? Mommy would like to do mommy stuff by herself'. It never works but hey at least I try.
Around 8 last night my face is buried in a book (we'll talk about THAT obsession in a future post) and the small one was kickin' round the bathroom. She likes to play with the cats water and look in the mirror and such so I wasn't all that worried. She rolls back out into the bedroom and tears my attention away from my book for a moment with the phrase 'Mommy....can you put this in my panties?'
WHAT? Panties? In your panties? Something you want...what?
I look over and she has taken out a pantyliner..taken the backing of it so that is sticky and ready to go...and would like me to put it in her panties - JUST LIKE MOMMY.
So daughter had her first pantyliner on last night. And now I reiterate - PRIVACY PLEASE!!